Review: The Polyamorists Next Door

The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple Partner Relationships and Families by Elizabeth Sheff

In my ever growing thirst for knowledge on polyamory and non-monogamy, I came across this book while browsing Audible. I have a monthly membership, so I’m able to purchase an audiobook with a credit. When I first saw the title, I was like Yessss! They’re finally talking about polyamory within a family setting and how real people navigate it.

Here’s a slight blurb from the Goodreads website about the book. “Dr. Elisabeth Sheff examines polyamorous households and reveals their advantages, disadvantages, and the daily lives of those living in them. While polyamorous families are increasingly common, fairly little is known about them outside of their own social circles or of the occasional media sensationalism. This book provides information that will be useful for professionals with polyamorous clients, educators who wish to understand or teach about polyamory, and especially people who wish to better understand polyamory themselves or explain it to their potential partners, adult children, or in-laws.”

After listening to it, here are my thoughts on the book:
This book came about from 15 years of research in the poly community by the author. For those who continually say, “What about the kids?” when it comes to poly people, Elisabeth gave those real life questions important answers. I felt like her research was groundbreaking in the sense that very few books focus on poly households and the day-to-day lives of those families. I really liked that the author included LGBTQ people and their families in her research as well. One thing I was disappointed with is that there was virtually no representation of poly people of color, which I brought up to a friend who’s doing research on poly people of color. He stated, and I agree, that the poly community is divided along the color lines. Which I feel is very sad. All in all I’m happy that I read this book.

I personally don’t have any small children so this issue doesn’t affect or bother me but it’s important because of my other partners have children and this research and discussion is much needed.

Read a Q&A with the author.

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